But after she explained things to us and referred me to a few more doctors I was more willing to hear things. Later that afternoon, I called Brad and said "I need to talk to you, seriously". He came over as soon as he could. I just began balling and couldn't even start the conversation. Once I finally did I basically told him, he's got a free out of this relationship, he didn't choose this, and sure wasn't expecting it. To be 19 and having a baby is already scary enough, but with a woman who could potentially harm him and our children. I was fully willing to give him up and had already understood what the repercussions would be If he chose to leave. But God willing, he stayed and said "Yeah and, it's just more to love you for". And nearly 8 years later he has stood by my side. Without question or without fear. True love is something I'd never known or seen, and it made me so guilty and uncomfortable knowing this man truly loved me. It took a long time to truly love him and a lot of my own mistakes before I knew he was here to stay. I thank the Lord everyday he chose to stay. It just didn't seem fair to him, to be with me, and potentially, get HIV. My worst fear. He's never once been concerned or worried. He's done his research and has told me "it's not the worst thing that could happen." I have different opinions and and someone with HIV would nearly be devastated to transmit to our loved ones. Truly, at least that's how I've always felt.
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