HIV outbreak in Indiana

http://nbcnews.to/1bxEdtz

Philadelphia Scientists "delete" HIV virus from human dna

http://guff.com/glt-scientists-delete-hiv/20?ts_pid=2

This is unbelievable news. But we will see how long it takes to become funded and expanded.

Endless True Love

But after she explained things to us and referred me to a few more doctors I was more willing to hear things.  Later that afternoon, I called Brad and said "I need to talk to you, seriously". He came over as soon as he could. I just began balling and couldn't even start the conversation. Once I finally did I basically told him, he's got a free out of this relationship, he didn't choose this, and sure wasn't expecting it. To be 19 and having a baby is already scary enough, but with a woman who could potentially harm him and our children. I was fully willing to give him up and had already understood what the repercussions would be If he chose to leave. But God willing, he stayed and said "Yeah and, it's just more to love you for". And nearly 8 years later he has stood by my side. Without question or without fear. True love is something I'd never known or seen, and it made me so guilty and uncomfortable knowing this man truly loved me. It took a long time to truly love him and a lot of my own mistakes before I knew he was here to stay. I thank the Lord everyday he chose to stay. It just didn't seem fair to him, to be with me, and potentially, get HIV. My worst fear. He's never once been concerned or worried. He's done his research and has told me "it's not the worst thing that could happen." I have different opinions and and someone with HIV would nearly be devastated to transmit to our loved ones. Truly, at least that's how I've always felt.

Stigma Panel

I've been asked to help with the Stigma Panel being held at Cal Poly on May 21st from 4:00-7:30.  I'm very excited and promise to post more info as soon as I get it!! 

Doors Have Been Opened

It can take one person to change the world and I'm not aiming to change the world, but if I get to a few people with my message I could save lives. And if I could literally save 1 I would be stoked, but the possibilities of changing multiple are pushing me full force into my advocacy.

I met with an old high school counselor today. He's known me for years, not just during high school. He's worked at AG High and Nipomo High. He gave me connections to some great people for future youth talks.  He also said he would personally call these connections and put in a personal voucher for me. WOOHOO thank you Lord for opening doors for me. This could become huge...

FOUND MY TRUE CALLING

I may just be reiterating some things that I've said, but I feel I've found my calling! I obviously want to continue my awareness advocacy because so far it's helped tremendously educate the youth. And I'm not saying I want to stop that either, but I have considered at the very near age of 30 becoming a youth counselor or testing counselor or even a teacher. I know that's pretty ambitious, but I know my calling is to work with youth and continue to raise awareness. Any thoughts on this issue or possible reconsiderations so I'm not going back to school at 30 until I'm 40!!!! Because that in itself scares me! Or any possible contacts! Thanks for sharing in this journey with me, it's helped educate and raise awareness to a lot of youth, but it's also healed me, made me become more self confident, and given me my spirit back after a very rough few years when I thought it was gone forever!!!  "Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it." - Ezra 10:4

Live Like A Warrior - Amazing Song

Matisyahu - Live Like a Warrior: https://youtu.be/qf-DOEim250

Feel like the world don't love you
They only want to push you away
Some days people don't see you
You feel like you're in the way
Today you feel, as if everyone hates
Pointing their fingers, looking at your mistakes
You do good, they want great
No matter what you give they still want to take
Give your love and they throw it back
You give your heart they go on attack
When there's nothing left for you,
Only thing that you can do, say

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

Some things you should let go, they're only gonna pull you down,
Just like weight on your shoulder they are only gonna make you drown
We all swing high, we all swing low,
We all got secrets people don't know
We all got dreams we can't let go,
We want to brave, Don't be afraid
Ohh

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

Your heart is too heavy from things you carry a long time,
You been up you been down, tired and you don't know why,
But you're never gonna go back, you only live one life
Let go, let go, let goooooo, Let go, let go, let goooooo,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

Testimonials/Answers I got from the AG Health classes

So I talked to roughly 150 high school students this week. I could see the impact my story made on them physically by their facial expressions. However,  there were a few students I couldn't quite read right off the bat, but those kids ended up writing me amazing 'thank yous' and honestly some of them brought me to tears. It was liberating, confidence building, and a huge relief to get my story out and potentially save some lives. It was so nerve wracking at first, but mostly after the first class I was relieved. I built a consistent/informational lesson to tell each class. Most of them were freshman,  but some weren't.  They were so considerate to my story and fully willing to listen. Some classes had more questions than others, but some classes were more informed about tattoos and HIV.

Here are a few testimonials/comments the students wrote to me:

• Dear Ms. Chelsea - I am praying for you. You answered so many questions and gave information that not every guest speaker would! I admire your strength and that fact that you did not let your HIV define you. I've had twelve surgeries so I kinda know what the whole medical/doctor/surgeon procedure list like. You are not alone.

• Dear Chelsea - Thank you so much for telling us your story. I think you're very brave. You taught me a lot today. I wish you the best of luck. You probably hear this a lot but I hope you get better. I hope you have a happy life with your family. Never give up. You're amazing. Goodbye.

• Thank you! What you talked about today in the class has made me think a little more. I would like to get a tattoo but when you came in saying that you can get HIV from a tattoo it got me thinking. I knew I would go in a tattoo shop (when I'm older) and get it and leave. Not knowing if the person used new equipment. So thank you because now I'll be more aware of it. Thank you.

• What you're doing is very brave and I appreciate you coming in to talk about it with us. It's pretty damn awesome of you!

• Thank you for coming and talking to our class. It's great that you're educating kids on this because this is the age where we start to think about these things and we could make a right or wrong decision.

• I'm extremely grateful you took the time out of your day to come and talk with us about your life and struggles. I know for sure I will be more careful if I ever decide to get a tattoo. And I'm happy to say that much of the stigma is gone and people are more aware of its dangers. I wish for you, your daughters, and your husband to live a long happy life. Thank you

• I wanted to point out one thing that stuck out to me in your talk. The love your husband has for you is absolutely amazing. With risk factors and being married to someone is scary, but your husband stuck with you and that shows truly how much he loves you.

• I wanted to point out one thing that stuck out to me in your talk. The love your husband has for you is absolutely amazing. With risk factors and being married to someone is scary, but your husband stuck with you and that shows truly how much he loves you.

• Chelsea - Thank you for coming and talking to us today. I have a friend who could benefit from this information and now I have the knowledge to tell her this information. I'm sorry you got HIV and you have to go through all of these medical problems. I hope that you will be able to live a long happy life with your children and husband. I hope you have and great day and I hope to see you around sometime. - Elisabeth

• Thank you! Yes I did learn a lot more about getting tattoos from you! Your story was amazing and your husband is amazing for sticking by your side! And would you tell your kids that you had HIV? Once again thank you and when I do get my tattoo I will be sure to ask questions and bring someone to watch them as well.
Chelsea - Thank you so much for taking the time to help educate us and share your story. It is so great that you are so comfortable talking about it because every little thing you say can save a life. Sometimes people with life-altering disabilities or problems seem to shut down or even give up, but you decided to live through it and even raise two healthy beautiful daughters. What you are doing to inspire and educate us is truly amazing and I am so glad you found out before it got too dangerous. God Bless - AJ

• Thank you so much for coming and talking to us. You have helped me so much prepare for my tattoo in the future. I had no idea that could happen and all clues of a tattoo parlor not being clean. I want a tattoo in memory of my mom's life and hearing you talk about your daughters and how you want to protect them from these diseases.My mom would be very grateful as well that you are teaching me. - Rebecca Burton ("I don't want to be anonymous")

•Thank you so much for sharing your story, I had absolutely no idea how hard your life became when you were diagnosed with HIV, but I am  so sorry this happened. You are an absolutely amazing person and to fight this disease with such a positivity and spirit is truly inspiring. You have taught me the dangers of tattoos and what to make sure if I ever do get a tattoo and I am honored to have heard your story.

•Thank you so much for taking the time to come and talk to our class. It has been very educational. I think you are really great to come and educate us on these risks you had to unfortunately learn the hard way. You did not deserve that and I am sorry. I wish you the best In life and hope everything is fine.

Rocked It

Ummm, so who kicked ass today at her presentation????!!!!! THIS CHICK! totally rocked it!! So good, that they've asked me to come back and talk to all 6 periods!!!! Waiting for schedule options, but it's on like donkey kong!!!

Waiting & Nervous

So, I'm nervously and anxiously waiting at AG High school to do my health class presentation!!!

Health Class Presentation Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my health class presentation at AGHS... I'm so nervous and excited!!!!

Q & A - Need some ideas

Need some help with ideas... so my lovely friends could you please answer the following questions:
Trying to get a statistical baseline!!

#1 how much do you know about HIV? what questions do you have about HIV?
#2 how many of you have tattoos? How old were you when you got your 1st one.
#3 (please answer honestly) how many of you have had an HIV or HEP-C test?

MEETING HAS BEEN SET

So as of Monday, I will be talking to 1 health class during 3rd period at AGHS!! Oh my gosh, this is so amazing.... Im literally so elated, nervous, and anxious!! Let's end this stigma now!!! If out youth dont make the changes then this will continue to be an epidemic!!! SO STOKED!!!! God give me wisdom and guidance!

I AM NOT... I AM HIV+

End the Stigma

HOW I FOUND OUT I WAS HIV+

My childhood was, well.... confusing and complicated.  It would literally write it's own autobiography if rehashed.  So of course I'm in therapy, once again, this time it's working.  I've put the past in the past, forgiven not forgotten, and i've come to realize i'm not to blame nor should i blame myself.  So let's fast forward past the specifics to quite a few years later. 

It was April 2006, I was turning 21!!!!  Woohoo!!  Liquid courage and friends laughing that I was the only one without a tattoo; I signed that release form, told the guy what I wanted and sat in the chair.  I won't lie, it really didn't hurt and made me feel really fucking awesome.  Immediately after, I rolled my jeans down and pulled my shirt up and walked around the beach boardwalk showing off my new ink.  New tattoo, 21 year old girl, shouting it was my birthday.... lets just say it became a blur real quick.  Good times!

Now lets skip a few months later, sadly not even a year!  My marriage failed and I was living with my grandparents again in my highschool, born and raised hometown.  HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME!!!???  Well being nearly 22 by then and free and single I hit the bars and had a blast.  Honestly it was awesome.  I was working, young, fun, and importantly independent, FINALLY.  I met Brad at the gas station in a hurry to get cigarettes and gas before my nightly bar appearance.  Fate, led to him and his friend picking me up that night to go out to the beach.  He was amazing, bold, brave, funny, adventurous, and everything that I was missing.  We started seriously dating very fast.  After a few months we found out we were pregnant.  Let me restate this... i was pregnant!  I didnt want to be with him because i just wanted....more! Honestly I didn't want to be pregnant.  Didn't have great parental role models and was screwed up enough, not married, way too young, and extremely selfish.  But something led me to tell him and figure out what to do. I was fully prepared to commit the ultimate sin of getting an abortion (i was raised very religiously). But he said, "thats awesome, i love you, i want kids, and i love kids. But this is your decision."  with the ultimate sin thing hanging over me, we decided to have this baby.  We told my grandparents, who I figured would scream, yell, disown me, and be very unsupportive.  Quite the opposite... they were thrilled.  Brads parents shared the same feelings.  That was it.... we were gonna have a baby! A life, something we would be responsible for until the end of time.  I was 22, Brad was 19..... HAHAHAHAHAHA, we weren't even responsible for ourselves yet!!  But couples have been having children for years, expected or not, and they were just find and made it work.  We could totally do this, or so we told ourselves.

Being single with low income and now being pregnant. i quickly received emergency pregnancy medi-cal.  Which led me to the CHC women's health clinic in Santa Maria.  I went there, they confirmed the pregnancy and then ordered an ultrasound.  It was so real at that point.  Our little person was growing inside of me.  It was pretty amazing and overwhelming not to mention emotional.  They ordered some regular labs and scheduled a follow up visit.  A few days later, around Thanksgiving, I started bleeding really bad and we were afraid i was miscarrying.  Obviously we went to the ER.  After a whole day in the ER after tests, ultrasounds, and labs they admitted me for a blood disorder.  My OB from CHC, Dr. McGhie, came to see me in the hospital to insure me that the baby was okay, but because of the bleeding disorder they wanted to me see a Hematologist  and stay in the hospital a few days for observation.  OMG, WTF, WTH, FML, this was a huge mistake.  All those thoughts went through my mind.  Let me explain a little, I have severe anxiety and aggression when it comes to hospitals.  Safe to say, I HATE HOSPITALS!
Long story short, I met Dr. April Kennedy, Hematologist and Oncologist.  I loved her immediately.  Great doctor!!!  She said I would be just fine and so would our baby.  I had a blood disorder called Idiopathic Thrombocyto Penia. (ITP).  Laymans terms, my white blood cells were so low that I was unable to clot, which would mean bleeding out, and hemorrhaging.  She ordered Prednisone and said that it was common in pregnant woman and not to worry.  i spent 5 days in the hospital, and once released was to immediately follow up with Dr. Kennedy.  Never heard from CHC or Dr. McGhie since the first appt and the time he quickly came into the hospital.  After being released, I received a phone call from CHC saying they were too overloaded with patients and with the new "high-risk" issues I was having, she suggested I pick up my records and find another OB/GYN who specializes in "high-risk" pregnancies.  They recommended Dr. Richard Spalding in San Luis Obispo.  When I followed up with Dr. Kennedy and gave her Dr. McGhies records, along with her own lab reports she ordered.  She said ITP doesn't make you "high-risk".  She offered to speak to them and ordered a more specialized test for me to get a better understanding of the ITP levels and thereforth.

Brad was at work and I was sitting in the back room, being a lazy pregnant woman!!!  My phone rang and it was Dr. Kennedy.  She said, I need to speak to you in my office regarding your pathology reports.  She sounded concerned but also I trusted her and said she could tell me over the phone, she insisted I come in... I insisted she just come out with it.  "Chelsea multiple pathology reports show that you are HIV+!"  I began balling, said I'll be right there, told my grandma, called my aunt, and within 10 minutes the 3 of us were driving to Dr. Kennedy's office.  I have to stop for a minute because this is such a vivid, terrifying memory for me that it literally brings me to tears.

Progress

Arroyo Grande High School has accepted my offer to speak to a health class regarding HIV and awareness.  Should happen next week sometime. So appreciative of this amazing opportunity!!

STORM OF LIFE!!

If you were to take away all security, objects, relationships, basically your life and it was to spin like a tornado.  Swirling around thrashing your life into an endless spiral of insecurity and guilt, spinning all around you as you stare into the gorgeous light above, the calm outside the storm. Then in the midst of a literal life storm, lightning strikes unannounced, unexpected.  Sure what could be worse then a tornado of your life spinning all around you?  Its the lightening that pushes us to the extreme.  Weeding out the weak and the strong.  So you come to a cross roads.... is this it, a wild and frightening storm of life with endless strikes?  Or do you lasso that tornado, stand your ground, and fight?  Well i've lassoed that damn tornado and rode it through the disasters that were left in the wake, fixing what I could, or thought I could.  But that tornado won.... knocked me back off my feet once again.  This time, I used my emotions turned them into a chain strong enough to bring that tornado crumbling to its feet.   Leaving a shattered and messy life to clean up, but at least its mine to clean up. And a calm that allows me to control the way i put my life back together. 

WHY NOW??!!

Why am I choosing to become an advocate now?  Basically I've sat around for the last seven to eight years watching the system fail and not having anyone there to do anything about it.  So I figured go with what they say "be the change you wish to see in the world".  I can't honestly say there was one specific moment that changed in my thoughts on any of this, however being an HIV positive woman, heterosexual, married, with two beautiful negative children.  I believe that I have a voice that people should hear.  Are we not fighting to raise awareness and end the stigma and educate and find a cure for this disease, that we've literally been battling since 1980?  And isn't this the year that were supposed to end the transmission of HIV/AIDS from mother to child?  Are our medical professionals educated enough themselves to end the stigma and change policies that have been set forth that have obviously failed?  So here, I am bringing those issues to light and hoping to change so much more than just the stigma!